On old posts and salt water

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I found some old posts I made on other sites, old blogs etc. that were all of a certain format–a movie review or book review or something that is in some bizarre stream-of-consciousness voice, I suppose like the one I'm writing in now, but not quite.

I remember when I was big into livejournal before I got big into xanga [1] I used to actually intentionally write in this style because I thought it was interesting. I have reviews of books up on goodreads that date back from this time period [2] that are written in this style, and those are the posts I'm talking about that I found.

I only am mentioning this because the style those reviews are written in, to me, today, seems to be very stupid, and what I hope is that when I write in any kind of "thoughts straight from the head onto the page" voice, that what I'm doing now isn't nearly as idiotic as what I was doing then. [3]

I think at the time the point was to make some kind of deeper point about "process" that was somehow related to whatever media I was reviewing, that the reviewing process should focus mostly on that I actually think and feel in real time, no matter how little it has to do with the main points of whatever I was reviewing, and there might be some merit to this if I was a good writer, but I'm not. I mean I'm completely capable of constructing sentences better than probably 90% of the adult US population but "writing" the way I'm thinking about it write now [4] is clearly something that contains some divine spark [5] that mere sentence (or even paragraph or essay) construction lacks.

Sorry to wax gnostalgic [6] on you there for a bit. The point is I've gotten to the point where I'm embarassed by my inability to write blog posts in any other writing voice than the one that looking back, I've clearly been abusing for centuries [7].

What I was trying to post about is the depression that just today I'm starting to come out of, that I've been under for days. I think that part of it was caused by the nootropics I was experimenting with that I felt like I needed to compensate for the fact that I wasn't doing the hottest in school.

But today all I can feel is that I want out of this town. There is literally [8] six feet of salt water above my head in the position I am sitting in right now. I don't want to live with these salt water drenched people in this ruined, flooded town [9] anymore. Why would anyone build a town here? This is completely ridiculous.

I need money, and I need lots of it. I need to get rid of things I don't need. I need to be making [10], and I need to be making sales, and I need to be making a reputation. I need to figure out how much money it takes per foot of salt water [11] to escape from the bottom of a flooded town. I want to have this money in six months. I want to make enough money each month to buy my way out of one foot of salt water. Salt water is heavy.


Editor’s notes:

  1. This is misleading and possibly inaccurate. The author joined xanga before joining livejournal, and made many of his/her most memorable blogging moments there before joining livejournal. That said, he/she did get more “big into” Xanga after abandoning livejournal later, possibly around 2008.

  2. The reviews in question that are on goodreads actually do not seem to be from this time period–they are from 2011 or so.

  3. The reviews don’t seem to be as bad as the author thinks. See https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/138541780

  4. Sic.

  5. “Divine spark” probably refers to the idea from gnosticism. The author appears to be misusing it as a synonym for the word “soul”. This is clearly a juvenile attempt for the author to tie in his/her current username with a retroactively applied explanation for his/her bad decisions. The editor wonders if this is what passes for wit, nowadays.

  6. See, the editor knew the attempt at wit was about to go full retard.

  7. In actuality, approximately six years.

  8. Not literally. This would be true if one could travel about a quarter mile east from the author’s suspected location while staying at the same elevation, though.

  9. New Orleans.

  10. The editor has not been able to ascertain what the author actually makes.

  11. The editor apologizes for the poor quality of this metaphor and for how many times it is repeated.

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One Response to “On old posts and salt water”

  1. thecuriousbum Says:

    I read stuff on my blog here and wonder what the hell I was talking about–just a few months ago. The positive spin is, like you say, to make more sense, and I think you do even though I don’t really understand much of what you write about. To making money and leaving towns!

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